As time moves on we grow older more mature wiser. We leave behind  us memories, some pleasant some painful. We forget people, instances and events, but  we do remember (consciously or unconsciously) and carry with us forever our values.  They are an essential part of us; they form the essence of an individual. The deeds,   actions, thoughts of every individual depend on his/her values.

At age 16, I cannot declare confidently that the thoughts and  views I'm about to share today are to be my values tomorrow. But perhaps five years down the  line, I would have laid down a clear set of values for myself, based on which I would  like to lead my life.

As of today, I strongly believe that every individual has a duty  to himself and owes himself happiness and a certain amount of contentment in his life.  Every person has certain dreams, goals and ambitions that once fulfilled or reached  are sure to give a special sense of satisfaction and boundless elation. However due to  the present day today stress and pressure from society, not everyone is lucky enough to   reach this point in their lives. I believe that everyone reaches a crossroad in life  where we have only two choices - one, to completely care in and accept what others are  saying, i.e. submit to their terms and sacrifice all personal thoughts feelings and desires  and two, to do some introspection and realize that whatever we want or are doing is  right (as long as it is not harming someone else) and we deserve a chance to reach our goals  and lead a happy life.

In the first case, the individual could completely lose control  of his life and himself. Needless to say, OT has a tremendous impact on the  "self " of the individual. The "self" is gone, the essence is gone and  pretty soon the soul too is gone. It is undoubtedly the easier of the two cases because it is   effortless and doesn't require (sometimes) -painful introspection. But so is   jumping off a cliff - and it inevitably results in death. On the other hand, climbing a mountain  is much harder but once you get to the top the elation and happiness is unbeatable.  Even if one does not get to the top, so long as one is inching closer to the top, every step  upwards causes satisfaction beyond measure.

Being a girl, I'd like to give an example of the first case. My  worst fear (till date) ahs always been that I'd grow up to be a married housewife, raising  children, trying to please a good for nothing husband who completely fails to understand  or appreciate me and when I am forty years old, I wake up one morning screaming - "I   did everything THEY wanted me to do, then why am I so miserable?!" this situation  is shockingly a rather common situation as the majority of women in India face it at some  point in their lives. The question that arises is, is this really what they deserve? Do  they not deserve to be happy, just like every other person? If yes, then isn't it time for  a change?

The quote that comes to mind at this point is -

"God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change,  courage to change things I can and wisdom to know the difference."

This statement is both a summary and a guideline that I'd like to  instill in someone, because it defines the mental attitude, which (according to me)  every individual seeks to achieve.

Tanisha Sangha

The traits   and characteristics, which I admire most, in a person, are very varied. They usually are common  between most people. For example, the person should be kind, nice, these are very  commonplace. But there is always at least one trait that each person differently pursues. This  is what I feel matters most, the "uniqueness" in which each person has  his or her views, of what kind of traits a person should possess. There may be one unique  quality they look for, it may be many, the choice lies with the individual. But to me,  a person should always be "happy, humorous, generous, honest and helpful."  A person who would appeal to me would always be sincere, truthful and  non–judgmental. This person would also be unconcerned with the material things in life (okay, this may  sound far – fetched and impossible, but that’s the way I like them!). The  person conceived should also be "funny" and make me laugh. This is true of all and   most people. No matter who it is, my grandad or my teacher, they always have a   foolproof way of keeping me giggling and chuckling to myself. But I think the one "unique  trait" I mentioned, would and should be that the person should be able to get  past my tough exterior, because, like everyone, its just a mask, a face, a facade  I put on. The real me is covering and hiding, trying to cover itself from the cruel  outside world.

So this person should have the nobility to get   passed the real "Me" to come out of hiding. So this obviously means that I  should vibe, with the person and they should on first sight or first meeting be able to  understand my complex personality. This is definitely asking for a lot, but I have found  person(s) like this in the past, and I will continue to do so in the future.

Supriya Bakht